He Said/ She Said Edition: Hitting the Road with a Working Spouse

She said:

He said, “I miss you guys.”

She said, “We miss you too babe.”

And that’s how all this began. Matt had been traveling for ten years. Monday-Friday, home on the weekends. We had our routine down. He worked, I managed homeschool, the house……we were so used to the routine that it was fine until it wasn’t.

When we had gotten married 10 years earlier we had big dreams. I loved sales and wanted to continue in that, he had gotten into the finance industry and hoped to work at a Fortune 500 company. I wanted to decorate a home with a yard. Pick out curtains, paint the walls, hang up pictures. He wanted to stay in Colorado forever and hike, bike and ski with our kids. We put our heads down. We worked. We worked hard. Ten years later we had 3 sweet boys and a beautiful home.

The sticking point was the 48 hours we had on the weekends wasn’t enough to hike, bike and ski with the boys. We began to realize that we were continuing to work for dreams we had already achieved. It was time to come up with some new priorities. New dreams. We certainly weren’t the same people we were ten years and our dreams weren’t the same either.

So, we sat down and started it….a new to do list, a new vision, a new dream for our family. #1. More time together. #2. To travel and see the world. And our heart’s desire started to brew. How could we get more time together? It seems so simple thinking back on it but because we already homeschooled the children but I suggested we travel with him on his work trips. Yessssss!!! So we mapped it out. Where his meetings were, what we could drive to vs fly to. What would be a good season to visit different states? We had six months of travel planned according to his meetings and we here needed to be. We booked our plane tickets and tagged along. A year later. We had achieved #1- more time together. The only problem was at this point, we had grown to love seeing each other and couldn’t imagine our old weekend only routine. So, we started thinking again. 

More Time Together………Hitting the Road with a Working Spouse.

xoxo- Jess

He said:

Traveling for work was a dream come true for me. Fluorescent office lights and idle break room chat wasn’t my thing. When given the opportunity to work for a world-class firm covering my favorite places in America (along the Pacific coast), I jumped at the chance. Staying at amazing hotels and entertaining clients at the finest restaurants in the West? Sign me up! It was fun. Exciting. On stage, giving presentations to thousands of financial advisors every year? Thrilling. Missing your kids’ baseball games, piano recitals and birthdays? Outright depressing and guilt-inducing.  

So, what does a desperate Dad do to remedy the situation? Create more chaos and channel that desperation into adventure!!! It was sure to be chaotic. Wasn't sure if this would work. I mean, of course I missed them. But would it really make a difference to see them before or after meetings. Could we really pull this off? I had no doubt that Jessica, the master of organization, efficiency and care could pull it off. I mean, the woman alphabetizes our spice drawer.

But, could I pull it off?  

Would it be too much pressure to end meetings early? Or forego reading emails in my underwear sprawled out on a fluffy Marriott king bed overlooking the ocean? I'll admit, crafting presentations in the hotel atrium while the overnight staff buffed lobby-floors in the morning darkness sounded miserable. The coffee wasn't even ready this early!  This didn't sound like fun at all. Wasn't sure. Seemed like a crazy thing to do.

What happened over these six months sparked something in me. I WAS MISSING EVERYTHING. I saw it. The boys' smiles, their changing, delicate features becoming more mature. Their quirky little personalities. I suppose I was feeling so lonely on the road after 10+ years that having breathing souls in my hotel room was a refreshing idea.

And it was.

After coming home from a long day on my feet, hearing about their days adventuring, learning and exploring new places made me feel like it WAS worth it. Seeing the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time, riding boogie boards at the Wedge in Newport Beach, or watching the dancing water fountains at the Bellagio. Indescribable. I was seeing THEIR wonder. It was so much better than mine. It illuminated my soul. We could do this. We were doing this. It wasn't what I thought it would be. We desired so much to see each other, we were making it happen despite the hassle of unnatural, imposed family boundaries and rules. Not easy for kids to understand. But I was feeling way more joy than I expected.

However, despite the new adventures and memories, my soul was still restless. After the weekday adventures, Jessica was scrambling to get our home-life in Colorado back in balance on the weekends. I was exhausted. No energy. Wanting to sleep all day. Grumpy about meeting friends out for a beer. We couldn't do this forever. Working for Salomon Brothers and BlackRock in the finance industry was a career more than I ever dreamed of. Amazing money, prestige and respect from my peers. But being a Dad was what was missing. A real Dad. Like my Dad was there for me. It was time to journey on. Time to try to be THAT Dad and leave conventional thinking behind. We went for it.

Cheers to dreaming- Matt